loss too big to overcome

i feel as though i am nothing else if not grateful. i appreciate the place that im at in life is one of privilege, i appreciate that ive had a comfortable home with no big loss, ive had no disturbances in my home life, my brothers are doing good, my parents are doing good, i can do good for myself, im healthy, if things go the way they’re going, i can expect to have a long happy and healthy life.

that being said, i do continuously wonder how i would do if something were to go terribly wrong. what if i get in a debilitating car crash? what if my parents or brothers die? what if my best friends pass away?

the more i think about it, i think i could come back from most of those. id endure, figure out what to do with my life because i would be independent, capable of doing things for myself and overcoming challenges on my own. but what if i go blind? what if i lose my legs, or my hands? what if i lose just a singular eye? what then?

ive seen how strong other people can be but i genuinely dont know if i have it in me to overcome something that seems so unfathomably uncomfortable. theres a good chance i will have to figure it out some day.

i feel like losing your health is losing your dignity.and im willing to do anything to preserve my well being.

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201 - 10/06/2025