one thing at a time

i realized something about myself today: i live life like a checklist.

i do things as if that thing has to get done before i can move on to anything else, that the one overarching goal i have has to what i finish before i can even think about anything else. that kind of focus has its pros. its the only thing ill think about, its the only problem that consumes me, its all i strive for. (synonyms!)

what if the goal is too large though? the ambitions too great? the feat almost unachievable? does everything else in my life take a back burner? as if it doesnt matter?

for the last, maybe 12 years(?), i think ive been focussed on just one goal: graduate school so i can get a good job and take care of my parents. im here now, and the new goal is to make a Saas that can make me rich so that i can take care of my parents. in that time, ive neglected other things like my creative passions (who has time to be creative when you dont have money) or at times personal well being or mental health. more importantly though, ive been working counterintuitively. im so bent on giving my parents a better life that i miss entirely that all they want is time with me.

ladies and gentlemen, today ive learned that im a single core processor with no job scheduling. dang that was off the dome but its so accurate. im sure there’s going to be someone who reads this at some point in the future and decides its worth a laugh.

for real though, i have to realize that it’s important to do things in parallel, that i should pursue my creative endeavors as well as my entrepreneurial endeavors.

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today i learned my dad’s full name is yousaf paasha. mind blown.

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110 - 07/07/2025