the point of this

the reason im at home is because i wanted to spend more time with my parents. part of me feels like im giving up this other life i could be living.

i mean yeah, everything has an oppoertunity cost. i dont even want to think about it. as much as i want to live in a big city and bum it out and struggle and all those things, my obligations to my parents come first. the path my life is going to go down isn’t how i imagined it would be, but its how i want it to go right now.

i said all this because today i was annoyed. i said but a few words to my dad. wasn’t angry or anything at him— i was just working in my room and he was entertaining the guests for eid. i dont know how else to put it. that makes me sad. im only going to get so many more days with my dad. i hate to have wasted a perfectly good one.

81 - 06/08/2025