a mid life crisis— at 22

if you belived all your life that you would be exceptional, and you reach your early adulthood and you’re anything but exceptional, have you failed?

im having a bit of a crisis of meaning and purpose. i dont want to go through life without knowing my full potential. when im on my deathbed, when the angel of death comes, i know ill have a lot of regrets. i already do. i just dont want to wonder this: “what could i have been?”

i have one life. one chance to figure it all out. it really sucks that there are no redo’s. i have to accept what has been. all i can do is work to shape what will be. 22 years old. im not that kid that everyone could say has a lot of potential. im an adult now. i have to own everything that i do.

ugh i just generated another regret. fucking put the camera light with metal on my screen and just let it slide across my screen like a fucking dumbass. wow am i mad at myself

oh. and im shaving my head, and locking the fuck in.