a mid life crisis-- at 22

if you belived all your life that you would be exceptional, and you reach your early adulthood and you’re anything but exceptional, have you failed?

im having a bit of a crisis of meaning and purpose. i dont want to go through life without knowing my full potential. when im on my deathbed, when the angel of death comes, i know ill have a lot of regrets. i already do. i just dont want to wonder this: “what could i have been?”

i have one life. one chance to figure it all out. it really sucks that there are no redo’s. i have to accept what has been. all i can do is work to shape what will be. 22 years old. im not that kid that everyone could say has a lot of potential. im an adult now. i have to own everything that i do.

ugh i just generated another regret. fucking put the camera light with metal on my screen and just let it slide across my screen like a fucking dumbass. wow am i mad at myself

oh. and im shaving my head, and locking the fuck in.

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60 - 05/18/2025