the effects of the last 4 years

ive changed in a lot of ways in the last 4 years, that’s for sure. i should probably do more of a deep dive into it, really notice the changes in myself.

i would say overall, mostly good. but one thing i definitely have gotten worse about is the clutter around me. im so much more okay with clutter around me, i do fine with a mess.

im in the process of moving back my stuff to my parents home right now and its a mess. that’s fine, moving back is a mess. but im just surprised with how okay i am with it. it used to bother me so much, i couldn’t focus on doing anything else if that wasn’t done.

but now, who cares? is that a good thing? maybe, that makes me more versatile i think, more able to handle the clutter of life in general.

i hope that change wasn’t permanant. i want to stay organized for now.

you know another thing that i noticed is that i was just more about action— i saw how jack did it. you didn’t think, you just did. the details will work themselves out but you want to make sure you actually do the work.

im a lot more proactive, a lot quicker in the things i want to do.

on another personal note, ali’s grandmother died today. we knew it was coming but still, it’s sad. i almost had the chance to meet her but it just didn’t quite work out.

57 - 05/15/2025